13 Things Everybody Should Learn When Turning 21

Processed with VSCO with  preset

(thanks to my best friend for this postcard)

So.. I finally turned 21. Woohoo! Officially a legal adult! *pops confetti* Although it’s cool and all that I’m considered an adult already….. I’m soooo not ready to be an adult yet. Can I just be a kid forever?!?!?! *insert crying emoji here*

Since I have lived a total of 21 years, I felt like sharing a few things that I have learned throughout my years of life. Some may be relatable or not – well we all go through different shit in life. These are just a few of the things that I think that everyone.. SHOULD learn or at least… know about it if you haven’t turned 21 yet. If you have, hopefully, you have learned these 13 things.

  1. Make more effort to talk to people
    jwmz3
    One thing’s for sure is that I realize if we make effort to talk or approach people, not only does it strengthen the relationship but you also get to know the person even more. Don’t be afraid to make the first move by striking up a conversation with your friends or strangers, even your relatives.
  2. It’s okay to not be okay
    itsoknotto1
    If you’re not doing so well, don’t think that you are not allowed to feel this way. Don’t ever think that you have to be okay all the time. Allow yourself to have bad days because there will always be good days ahead. Just have your bad days, and pick yourself up the next day.
  3. Accept what is meant to be and move on
    kristina-needs-to-move-on
    The boy you loved so much hurt you? The girl you thought was The One turns out not to be? Didn’t managed to get that job? Stop clinging on to something or someone that isn’t meant to be in your life. Learn to let go, and move on. Don’t dwell on the past, focus on your future and see what it’ll bring you. I know it isn’t easy, but for the sake of your happiness, and everyone else.. you have to. Not everything or everyone is meant to stay or be in your life.
  4. Forgive yourself
    f2d5f5aac279bd38173f699db3694b5897500496409b6b61f91b7619bd53a858
    One thing that I am always guilty of is blaming myself for everything. Please, learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or did not do. Everybody makes mistakes, as long as you learn from them that’s all that matters.
  5. Forgive others
    tumblr_m6armyzmza1qbkfaao1_500
    Why do you need to cause unnecessary stress in your life by not forgiving others for their mistakes? It may not be even their mistake, but don’t shut them off completely. Forgive them, and forget. Trust me, you will feel much better when you do. It feels so much better to put all the drama behind you than holding on to revenge.
  6. Don’t let fear conquer you
    d473bdf6c50b67e11df9b4b1a34a06b4
    If you want to try something, GO AHEAD AND JUST DO IT. Don’t think about the what ifs – JUST DO IT! Don’t let fear overcome you and the things that you want to do. You wanna travel to freaking Africa?! Buy a plane ticket right now! Do whatever the heck you wanna do, as long as it makes you happy.
  7. Love yourself
    393b8e82532d98fea7983398836933145f975c301c6c684202af5b0af2a7a22a
    You are a precious little creature. One thing that I have learned is that it is SO important to have self-love. Pamper yourself, do whatever. Love yourself because each and every one of you are worth it, you are a goddamn piece of 1000k carat diamond ok – boy or girl.
  8. It’s okay to not have things figured out yet
    980x
    Really, it is OKAY. There is NO rush to plan your future right away, it takes time to get to where you are and where you want to be. It is FINE if you don’t know your future plans or what you want to do in your life. Baby steps, just go with the flow. You’ll be fine. Life is all about trial and error anyway 🙂
  9. Believe in yourself
    rber7ua9bsuvw
    It is so important to believe in yourself because if you don’t, then who will? Other people can believe in you, but if you don’t then there is no point. In the end, the decisions you have to make will always come back to you. Everything is your choice, so believe in your capabilities. Confidence is the key to everything. Even if you don’t have confidence, fake it. Act like you do because confidence is what creates a great impact on everyone, even yourself.
  10. Always be kind
    tumblr_oxes4l73571qgapqso1_500
    Always, always, always be kind to others. You’ll never know if your simple actions will make that person’s day. When you’re kind to others, in return you will feel good as well.
  11. Surround yourself with positivity
    giphy
    Don’t be around people that constantly puts you down, say mean things and make you feel guilty all the time. If that person is always making you upset or hurting you, let them go. Be with people that are constantly lifting you up. You don’t need unnecessary toxic people in your life. There’s just no time for that shit.
  12. Life is short
    d2efb0b62934e71741f2d8c7c9d21c1a40b153fc97acc3f7bdb15d77315e1909
    You may have lost someone that you love or someone you know. As each day passes by, you don’t know when will anyone’s deathbed be, even your own. Appreciate every living moment and every single person you know because you’ll never know when will be the last time on Earth. You only live once after all.
  13. Choose happiness
    today-i-choose-happiness
    Choose happiness. You are in charge of how you feel every day. Even if there are days when you don’t choose happiness, choose it the next day anyway. You are in charge of how you feel every day. It isn’t easy, but it is possible. You can do it.

There’s more, I think… but I don’t want to write too long. Some points might be even the same or related.

Welp, here’s to many more years of… adulthood.

If any of you have anything else that you’ve learned, do share your thoughts! 🙂

x chelle

What is a healthy mind?

Processed with VSCO with  presetPicture taken in July 2017, with a genuine laughter (thanks to my adorable bestfriends)

This is just something random that has been lingering in my mind for awhile. The struggle to stay positive, to be happy and have a healthy mind even when life knocks you down. I guess because I came to realize that this is a daily struggle for not only myself but many people as well.

What really is a healthy mind? 

There was a period of time when my mind was not healthy at all. In short, I was not happy. Smiling and laughing took a lot of effort, it all felt fake. For a few years, everyday felt like a struggle to even wake up every morning. It was like I was physically there, but I’m not really there. It took me sometime to get out of that ‘comfort zone’ that I was in. It was a comfort zone to me at that time because I choose to stay in that zone. I keep going back to it, no matter what.

Some of you may or may not have these kind of thoughts before. What am I living for? Is there a reason to live, what IS my reason to live? No one really cares. Why am I not smart enough, or good enough? I’m not capable of doing this and that. I’m below average, or just average. I won’t be able to cope or handle with this and that.

A healthy mind is when you don’t have all these thoughts.

I think we all tend to look down on ourselves at times and compare ourselves with others. We view ourselves as something so small and we lack confidence in ourselves. I believe that everyone has those moments. Sometimes it just comes unexpectedly, especially when something bad happens that impacts you greatly. Maybe it’s the way you were brought up, the environment that you were in that sometimes cause you to feel or think these thoughts. Or it could be because of some bad events that happened before.

One thing’s for sure though, is that everyone has their own purpose in life, and it’s all in your hands. YOU get to choose what you want to live for. YOU have the choice to create your own path in life. Everybody has their own choice on how you want to live your life. Choose the ones that makes you happy, the ones that helps you to become a better person and cause a positive impact in your life.

On a side note, having positive people by your side also influences your life choices and decisions. If you surround yourself with people that help lift you up, you will one day manage to lift yourself up as well.

I used to think that I can’t control what I’m feeling. That it just comes and goes. To an extent, this is true. But you can definitely choose how do you respond to these feelings or thoughts. When it comes, you can choose to either respond negatively… or seek for help from others. It is all about mindset and your willingness to change or control it.

There will be good and bad times in life, but one day eventually you will learn to see the positive sides of even the bad ones. You will be able to believe in yourself and start seeing yourself as a valuable person. You are definitely not alone in this world. I can guarantee you have AT LEAST 1 person (definitely more than 1 though) that cares about you. Sure there will be times when you fall down, so get yo ass back up just like the saying ‘Fall 7 times, get up 8’.

Your life is like a book. There are a few chapters, some chapters are bad and good. One chapter does not define the whole book.

Be the author of your own book.

x chelle